The Law of Connection
By being your True Self, you automatically become more connected to other people. You will find that the people that ‘get you’ are the right people to help you move towards your desired outcomes in life
Let me give you an example from my business life. As I’ve already mentioned, I learned a long time ago that I needed to ‘up my game’ when it came to the clients I was working with. I had made choices about the kind of people I offered my consultancy to and had rejected working with people I simply didn’t like. This had already had a powerful effect on my bottom line, on my time and on my general sense of wellbeing.
A few months ago, following a presentation I’d given at a local hotel, I received a call from an extremely wealthy individual. I shall give him a pseudonym here for obvious reasons.
Anthony Smith asked me to come and meet him. I did a little research before I went and understood he was worth several million. I arrived at his mansion prepared to do business in my normal way – to find out what was needed from me and to prepare some background information. This is the way that I always start off with a new client. I never try to sell, simply to listen and to ask questions.
Not long into the meeting as I was beginning to get into my stride, ‘Anthony’ Smith mentioned to me that he didn’t use his first name and would prefer it if I would call him by his second name, John.
I went on to discover that he was the former CEO of a major company and that his wealth was tied up in two Trusts. He brought out all the Trust documentation and I found myself thinking, ‘What am I doing here? He has everything he needs already.’
‘Anthony, I wonder if I might ask you…?’. His steely eyes pierced me. I’d forgotten his request to call him by his preferred name.
‘Listen, if you call me Anthony again, I’ll ask you to leave the house’, he interrupted, abruptly.
I suddenly saw it all. Here was a guy who had worked his socks off to be in the position he was today. He was tough, he was hardnosed, he was highly successful, and he was super-rich and because of his position, he was right out there on a limb. Alone, isolated, with no one he could really trust.
I could have walked out, there and then. I could have hightailed it back to the safety of my existing clients but I decided I had nothing to lose by just being with the guy for a bit and being me. If I could make a connection with this man and if I could make that connection on a deep level, who knew what magic might happen?
So, I settled down and relaxed into myself. I began to ask him value-based questions to find out more about who he really was. I soon realised I was asking him questions that no one had ever asked him. I went deeper and deeper into trying to understand who this man was, what he stood for, what his Standards were and what his values were. What was it that really made this guy tick?
Several times during that meeting I glimpsed a look on John’s face that seemed to say, ‘What on earth is this guy on about? What’s this got to do with anything?’ I stuck to my guns. I knew that if we were to make a connection, it would only happen by me being real with him.
I never close a sale on my first meeting with a client. When the meeting drew to an end, I took the Trust information away and told him I’d run some reports for him. I knew in my heart of hearts that this guy needed someone who would connect fully with him; someone he could trust.
A week later I was back with my reports. In the driveway of the mansion house, I got out of the car and put the files on the roof. As I reached into the car for my jacket, John was waiting for me at the door. He told me to leave my jacket in the car, I wouldn’t be needing it. I felt a little uncomfortable – my jacket was my business uniform and part of my armour. Then I thought again. The old cowboy belt I’d had for 18 years, since before my first boy was born was, after all, part of the true me! What the hell, I thought to myself. And I chucked the jacket back in the car, picked up my files and walked towards the house.
John greeted me at the door and as he did so handed me a glass of champagne.
‘Champagne?’ he enquired.
‘Fantastic!’, I said. What are we celebrating?
He turned to me with a warm smile, passed me my glass and lifting his own to his lips said, ‘We’re drinking to our new advisor!’.
I walked away from that second meeting with £4million of John’s money to look after. I also had a list of people in high places he was going to introduce me to.
When you are your True Self, the right people will seek you out and when they find you, they will want you to connect with them as your True Self. None of us need to pretend to be someone we’re not. We all have a need to connect with each other and by allowing ourselves to be who we really are, we can form the connections that power us up to take us to where we need to go.
I’ve fallen many, many times in my life. From losing my ability to speak, to becoming weighed down by debt and being threatened by bailiffs, I have fallen. I have fallen with regard to my family, in business, in my personal development – so many times on this journey I have fallen.
And if I’m 100% honest with you, I suspect I will fall again in the future. But I will get up again and move on to achieve my objectives anyway. Life is about growing and developing. It’s about learning and it’s about becoming more who we are. We don’t pay a price for wealth, health and happiness. We enjoy the process of reaching for it and owning it – for ourselves.
Begin to enjoy the process, begin to set the Daily Standards by which you want to live, begin to live your True Self. As the great Mahatma Ghandi said, ‘Be the change you seek.’
You are the one you’ve been waiting for. Within your True Self is the change that you seek. It’s you.
BeAllYouCanBe
Derek